HEALTH

Things you shouldn’t say to someone living with cancer

12 August, 2024 . 0

The metaphors about fighting a battle are not appropriate or relatable for many people. Here’s how to talk to a loved one about cancer.

Like me, do you flinch when you hear someone who has died described as having ‘lost their battle with cancer’?

It seems to imply that if only they’d fought harder … But that’s not fair or true.

Language is very powerful and we need to be careful how we talk about cancer.

It’s time we rethought the use of war metaphors when discussing cancer because it can have an adverse effect.

So, how did this military-style language of cancer even begin?

It is said to have started in 1971 when US president Richard Nixon declared war on cancer by signing a national cancer act that supercharged cancer research and funding.

It was hoped a cure for cancer would be found within five years.

Now, 53 years later, there have been some amazing advances in understanding, treatment and even cures for some cancers — but we still have a long way to go.

Cancer is not just one disease

It’s important to recognise that cancer is not one disease with a single cure.

While loss of cell reproduction control is basically the same process in every cancer, the type of cells, tissue or organ where it starts or spreads to, as well as timing of diagnosis, can mean treatment and outcome may be very different for an individual.

So why is using the right language important?

We know that prevention and early detection are really important in cancer management, but the language used may actually be working against us.

The war metaphor might be good in the laboratory to motivate researchers (and funders) but these terms may be anything but inspiring when applied to many people who have cancer.

Indeed, for some people the notion of a protracted ‘battle’ can be an added burden on their mental health.

Finding the right words to talk about cancer

It is important that we discuss what language the person feels comfortable using.

War metaphors may make some people fearful and less likely to engage in healthy behaviours or seek help.

Importantly, people living with cancer should never feel they haven’t ‘fought hard enough’.

As the saying goes: Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

However, I know that when a health professional uses the word ‘cancer’, especially in relation to an initial diagnosis, the person may not hear much after that and often think the worst.

However, some, if not many, cancers may be curable or can be kept at bay with ongoing or intermittent treatment.

Don’t make a cancer diagnosis a person’s identity

A diagnosis of cancer should not turn someone from a person into a ‘cancer patient’ — and we should concentrate on choices, not battles.

People living with cancer should discuss the type of language they prefer with family and health professionals.

A person living with cancer should feel part of the treatment team and be empowered to ask questions and receive knowledge to make decisions.

Talking openly about cancer using the right language will most likely reduce the fear and stigma and could improve outcomes. Stop the war metaphors.

Cancer Council Australia has excellent resources about cancer, including information on specific cancers and advice on topics from fertility and finances to intimacy and talking to kids.

Family and friends of people living with cancer, take a look!

Or, for additional support, call the Cancer Council support line and speak to a trained person for help and information on 131 120

More on cancer and how to support a loved one:

Written by Dr Sally Cockburn, general practitioner.