In a winter rut? Here’s how Jacqui Felgate navigates it
It’s easy to feel like you’re in a rut, especially in winter. But The House of Wellness co-host Jacqui Felgate says there can still be magic in the mundanity.
The winter rut: there’s no escaping that we are in the thick of it.
Short, dark days and a lack of sunshine always puts me in a sluggish (read: grumpy) mood.
For anyone with a young family, I see you!
Running the kids to after-school activities in the dark.
Standing courtside or field-side, shivering in the uniform of the middle-aged mum from southern Australia: the ubiquitous black puffer jacket, leggings, frizzy hair in a bun and mud-covered runners.
The lure of being indoors during winter
In winter, instead of getting out and about, we tend to spend more time inside.
And for my kids that often means more time on their devices.
It’s going to be a LONG winter.
Sure, there are some nice things about the cooler months — red wine and open fires are at the top of my list.
But I do find in winter it just feels like there is less time to get things done.
So, how do we reset ourselves and our relationships?
In summer, I’m just in a better mood — with myself and with my husband Michael.
Is it being cooped up inside that ignites the short fuse?
I’m sure if anyone researched our little family unit they would find our fuses are definitely shorter in winter — and let’s be honest, everyone is just testier with each other.
This year, I’ve suggested a few things to help reignite the spark.
We have booked a weekend away, which I haven’t done for ages.
Sure, it’s just one weekend (any parent with young children would know even to get a night away is near impossible) and an amazing dinner out.
I can’t tell you the last time we went out to dinner as a couple — or even as a family.
Actually, I can — it was in summer!
Just sitting down and having an uninterrupted conversation with my husband could be the most romantic thing I will do all year.
It’s so easy to fall into a rut
And not just a winter rut, but a rut in general.
But what I’ve realised as time goes on is how much a relationship evolves.
And it can be a good thing.
Sure, we don’t go out much — if at all — mid-week.
Most weekends are spent dividing and conquering the kids at whatever sport or birthday party they might be at.
And by the time everyone stumbles in the door on Sunday afternoon we’re all exhausted.
But there are so many positives and simple things for which to be thankful.
Finding the bright sight
We have traditions now as a family (who would have thought?).
They’re nothing groundbreaking but they are our own special things that we sometimes take for granted.
I love cooking a Sunday roast and enjoying it as a family.
Michael and I love Friday night footy.
We generally try to get a nic(er) bottle of wine and watch the game together.
Unwinding after the week might seem boring, but to be honest there’s nothing I’d rather do on a winter evening.
It’s the little, normal things that make you appreciate what we have.
For example, every morning Michael makes me a cup of tea when he goes to work.
I can’t get up without it.
It’s just something he has always done.
Even when he’s rushing out the door, he always makes the time.
It’s a small, romantic gesture that makes me realise, well, maybe a rut isn’t such a bad place to be after all.
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