Parenting

I’m a psychologist: Here’s why parents should say ‘yes’ to play

18 August, 2024 . 0

From improving problem-solving to strengthening bonds, play is an important part of childhood. Here’s why parents should make play a priority.

Playtime. While kids love it, parents can struggle to find the time or inclination to devote themselves to it as much as their child might like.

Another “cup of tea” or another game of hide and seek may not seem like the most productive way to spend your time when dinner needs to be made or the house needs a clean.

But saying “yes” to a little more tea or another game might be more important than you realise.

Hidden benefits of play

Whether your child is partial to make-believe or outdoor adventures, play in its many forms offers countless benefits for both children and their parents, Quirky Kid Clinic principal psychologist Dr Kimberley O’Brien says.

“For kids, play is about problem-solving and creativity,” Dr O’Brien explains.

It also offers physical and cognitive benefits, she adds.

“If it’s outdoor play, there’s a multisensory component, and physically, play helps children develop fine motor and gross motor skills.”

When parents play with their child the benefits compound.

Collaborative play with parents — the kind where there’s joy and laughter — can trigger a release of endorphins, Dr O’Brien says.

“That interaction usually builds a greater sense of security and self-esteem, too.”

What’s more, engaging in play with your child can help you feel more connected, building confidence and further strengthening the parent-child bond, Dr O’Brien says.

Raising Children Network director Derek McCormack agrees that playing together builds the parent-child relationship, while it also sends a powerful message to them that they are important to you.

While collaborative play brings a slew of benefits, children also benefit from time and space to play without restriction, so their imagination can roam and they can explore ideas, Derek says.

Making the most of play

So what kind of play is best to reap the benefits?

Derek says mixing things up is key.

“There are advantages to varying the types of play available to children, including things like structured and unstructured play, outdoor play and messy play,” he says.

Naturally, children play differently at each stage of development.

“For babies, one of their first and most fundamental development milestones is forming relationships and making connections with their main caregiver,” Derek says.

Play that helps build on this can include simple things such as talking to them, sharing music and songs, and playing games such as peekaboo.

As kids grow into toddlers and preschoolers, playdough can help them use and develop their fine motor skills, while active play, such as kicking or throwing a ball, can build gross motor skills, Derek says.

And once they hit school, play will develop into things such as building cubby houses or obstacle courses, dressing up and acting out favourite stories, which can encourage imagination and build STEM skills.

Likewise, outdoor play is central to a child’s learning and development, Derek says. It helps them build confidence and physical skills while providing an opportunity to learn about and care for the environment.

How much is enough?

Most children would play all day, given the chance.

But how much is enough to satiate them, to fill their buckets?

According to Dr O’Brien, regular play is important — and it would be great if we all had endless amounts of time.

But if you can play for a few hours a day, their bucket should be brimming, Dr O’Brien says.

And remember, independent play is good for them, too.

Battle of the screens

Digital devices are a constant lure for children.

So, how can parents encourage playtime over screen time?

Dr O’Brien suggests having alternate activities during times where screens are a default, such as car rides or restaurants, or starting the day with play rather than TV.

“Pack a game of memory cards or pick-up sticks; make a routine of getting outside.”

Derek also suggests incorporating screen guidelines into family rules to help manage tricky transitions between screen time and screen-free play.

When you can’t play or don’t feel like it

Can’t possibly play another game of snap or dress-ups? Sometimes parents simply don’t feel like playing. And that’s OK. Our experts share their tips and tricks for making playtime fun for everyone.
When the energy balance is tipped in your child’s favour,
Dr O’Brien says a game such as hide and seek still allows your child to bounce around but allows time for parents to pause, too.
Choose a game together that you both enjoy. If parents feel excited by the play as well, time will pass and it won’t feel like such a slog, Dr O’Brien says.
Have a to-do list longer than your arm? Let children help you, as for them this is play, too, Derek says. He suggests parents involve children in tasks such as watering the garden and meal preparation.
If time is short, focus on quality over quantity, Derek says.

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Written by Sarah Vercoe.