Is HOGO really a thing and do you have it?
Pre-pandemic FOMO, or fear of missing out, kept our social diaries pretty busy. These days HOGO – the hassle of going out – has dampened our agenda.
After two years of revolving lockdowns, social distancing, mask-wearing, and checking-in – it’s small wonder the idea of going anywhere or doing anything can seem like a bit too much trouble.
Throw in a little virus anxiety and competition with a well-worn pair of tracksuit pants, a comfy couch and Netflix, and it’s easy to see how HOGO – the hassle of going out – has become a thing.
And the data is bearing it out.
A study by McCrindle Research found almost three in five Australians are less confident organising and participating in social activities.
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FOMO, JOMO, HOGO – what’s the go?
JOMO (joy of missing out) describes a pleasure in not going out and is a term coined by introverts in response to FOMO.
Experiencing HOGO doesn’t mean you don’t like going out – just that the trouble of organising it stems the motivation to do so.
“If you were already socially anxious, the past two years has really put it on steroids,” Monash Alfred Psychiatry Research Centre research fellow Dr Gemma Sharp says.
“In fact for many of us there’s been a fair bit of trauma and grief and getting ‘back to normal’ takes some work.”
So, if you might like to eventually expand your social circle beyond your TV remote, how can you shake your HOGO?
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Start with a coffee
It may sound easy, but for those feeling social anxiety, even meeting a mate for a cuppa can be challenging, Gemma says.
“Start by catching up with one friend at a local cafe and make it someone who knows you are anxious and who will help you through it,” she suggests.
“We call it graded exposure and it’s about dipping your toe into the pool, slowly.
“Step by step you can build up, perhaps meeting two or three friends, until eventually you can work your way up to attending an event.”
Celebrate post-pandemic life
“The end of the pandemic, or at least the end of the worst of it, is the perfect opportunity for people to launch a new version of themselves, which can be motivating,” psychiatrist and author Dr Tanveer Ahmed says.
“Try creating a transition ritual, something that will mark the end of a really tough time in your life and the start of a new chapter.
“Whether it’s a new job, a change of hairstyle, a new outfit or even planning a dinner party or something else that’s special — do something to celebrate post-pandemic life.”
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Be a social sparker
While losing the art of physical contact might mean you’ve become less adept at engaging socially, it is possible to regain your spark, Tanveer says.
“We’ve been hidden behind masks, confined to Zoom calls, and stuck at home for long periods of time, so we literally need to ‘spark up’ from a social point of view,” he says.
“Practise looking people in the eye again, even when you’re buying groceries — eyes are so important.
“And ask people how they’re going.
“Caring about how others feel can make you forget your own negative thoughts.
Try exercise and relaxation activities
Research has found exercise and relaxation activities help us view the world in a less threatening and negative way.
“Think about the coping strategies that have worked for you in the past, like yoga or controlled breathing or even listening to music,” Gemma says.
“They’re going to work in this situation as well.”
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Written by Liz McGrath.
