WELLBEING

How to deal with the painful loss of a pet

18 August, 2024 . 0

Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a beloved pet, but there are ways to help you cope with your grief and honour your special companion’s memory.

Australia is a nation of pet owners – the 2022 Animal Medicines Australia report estimated that around 28.7 million dogs, cats and other critters call home to roughly 7 million households.

It comes as no surprise really, as having a furry friend is undoubtedly one of life’s great blessings.

Besides being good for your health, pets offer companionship, unconditional love and for some, essential assistance at work or in day-to-day life.

For many of us, the bonds we forge with our animals can feel as strong as those we have with family members and friends, making the loss of a pet devastating.

Managing your pet’s remains

Adding to the trauma of the loss of a pet is uncertainty about how to handle their remains.

“If a pet is not put to sleep and dies of natural causes, many pet owners can choose to bury their pet at their home,” RSPCA spokesperson Emma Lagoon says.

But it is important to check local council regulations first.

“Some jurisdictions will not allow burial on private property for reasons such as cause of death, regional water table, or the type of soil present,” Emma says.

Cremation is also an option. In Queensland, for example, RSPCA Pets at Rest is one of several organisations offering cremation services for animals of all shapes and sizes, with packages starting from $250.

“If you have put your pet to sleep, your vet can provide options for you such as body disposal and helping to arrange cremation if you’d prefer,” Emma says.

“Local councils also offer body disposal options.”

Coping with grief

In a 2022 YouTube video, cat behaviour and wellness expert Jackson Galaxy describes the loss of an animal as “hell” and says there are many misconceptions about pet grief.

One is that sometimes grief experienced from the loss of a pet can feel “disenfranchised” because it is not acknowledged or validated by others.

Grief Australia specialist bereavement practitioner Dr Hellen Kemp says the grief experienced with pet loss is real but may not be fully understood by some people.

“Social support is pivotal in being able to navigate grief well, yet people who are animal bereaved often fail to receive empathic understanding from their social network in response to their loss,” Dr Kemp says.

“Therefore, the bereaved needs to reach out to someone who can empathically hear their grief such as an animal loss support group, and to find ways to participate in the funerary rituals we often associate with human loss.”

What if you had to put your pet to sleep?

In this situation, grief can be even more distressing and complicated because of feelings of guilt.

“Suggestions for coping with guilt include understanding that you were doing the best that you could at the time with the information you had, challenging your negative self-talk and the desire for a different outcome, and practising self-forgiveness,” Dr Kemp advises.

It is also important to allow yourself time and space to grieve as you would for the loss of a human loved one.

“Additionally, replacing a lost animal with another is also often touted by the misinformed as a ‘cure all’ for pet loss and, unfortunately, is more likely to cause harm to the bereaved,” she adds.

Ways to commemorate your pet

Celebrating your pet’s life can be an important part of the healing process for some.

“Creating meaningful memorials or rituals helps bridge the gap between the rational and emotional acceptance of loss, as is keeping meaningful objects belonging to our animals – such as photographs, collars or putting hair into jewellery,” Dr Kemp says.

Emma says many grieving pet owners plant a tree in their pet’s honour or scatter the ashes at home or a favourite place.

“Pet owners who cremate their pets will usually have an urn and keepsake, and your pet’s ashes can also be incorporated into artwork and even tattoos,” Emma says.

“And when the time is right, pet owners can donate pet items no longer needed to their nearest RSPCA or animal shelter, so another pet in need can be helped.”

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Written by Joanne Hall.