Surviving social media and your relationship

How to balance social media and your social life with relationship expert, Dr Nikki Goldstein.

Social media now impacts everything we do and the expectations we have.

Whilst it might be a great way to share information, connect and communicate, it is also negatively impacting how we date, our expectations and norms of our partners, and is putting more stress on our relationships and ourselves.

In the age of the selfie, how do we protect our relationships from the online world that now surrounds and influences them?

We will always compare ourselves to others and use those around us to determine if we are normal and good enough. What once was keeping up with the Jones’ (our neighbours) now seems to be the entire world around us impacting on how we view ourselves.

Our relationships are not safe from this and are suffering from false expectations, unrealistic norms and a severe case of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). We are also learning to look for satisfactions; not just in our internal worlds but the validation we receive on social media from other and sometimes complete strangers. It’s not good if you don’t get likes and comments.

Where once we were able to be more present in our relationships and enjoy the moment, we now capture the moment that looks better than it is, to then share with the online world, keeping us distracted from our partner. The way we value the moment is not based on reality rather the reactions to false and glorified projections.

Does it matter what happened or that it looked like you were having a good time?

This is also a vicious cycle that creates this false expectation for others around us with the unanswerable question of who’s to blame.

We are becoming so disconnected from our own relationships and have lost track of what is real, how we should be sharing our romantic lives and the healthy expectations we should be having from those we are in a relationship with.

Having our relationships online and living our relationships in public can also set up a couple for increased jealousy. Are you concerned about someone who likes his photos too much? Is there a comment that you are reading too deep into?

See this and more from Ed, Zoe and our team of experts in the latest episode of The House of Wellness TV show.

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