Strapped for time? Reasons some people are always late
From being disorganised, to having an abundance of optimism, there’s many reasons why some people can’t seem to turn up on time.
If you’re habitually late – or always waiting for someone who’s less than punctual – it can lead to stress, frustration and even feelings of resentment.
The latecomer might believe time is constantly evaporating before them, and think no one will really mind if they roll up fashionably late.
However the person left waiting might be wondering if their friend, family member or co-worker doesn’t value their precious time, especially if they’ve rushed to get there.
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Why are some people always late?
Aside from being plain old disorganised, there are many reasons why someone could be perpetually late, according to clinical psychotherapist Julie Sweet.
“One can be a fear of change,” Julie says, including the very act of having to move away from one thing and toward another.
Sometimes it’s modelling the behaviours we’ve seen as children, for example if your parent or caregiver was always late.
Or feeling undervalued – assuming no one will notice your presence, let alone whether you’re running on time or not.
“It’s also known to be as simple as this – some individuals don’t care about other people’s feelings,” Julie says.
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How being late can impact relationships
Julie says some people can feel disrespected, ignored or deprioritised by another’s continual lateness, whereas for others it will hold no significance at all.
“We have different attachment styles and varying personalities, so it makes sense that what’s important to one person may not be relevant to another,” she says.
Being constantly late can also indicate a boundary issue.
“There are mental, physical, time and emotional boundaries, which when violated can leave someone feeling sad, hurt or anxious.”
What makes people late?
Time trainer Christie Flora says people often don’t take into account the time it takes to commute (anyone got a spare teleporter?).
While looking at a client’s busy calendar for instance, it became clear he wasn’t leaving time to get across town between back-to-back meetings. But she pointed out that with a 30-minute drive, there’s no way he’d be making that meeting on time.
“He’s like, oh my god, you’re so right, that’s going to be stressful,” says Christie.
Instead, he requested the second meeting be pushed out half an hour, and started to work on factoring in his commute time in future.
Another common sticking point? Leaving enough time to park your car at your destination – especially if it’s a busy time of day.
How to make a ‘departure checklist’
Christie encouraged the same client to rewind the clock, to figure out everything he had to do before leaving the house, and estimate the time required, right down to having a snack.
“So when you’re leaving, what are you actually putting in the car, what do you need by the car.
“How long does it take to put on your shoes, are you changing outfits?”
They then plotted the steps on a piece of paper, which he could use until he had his more punctual routine down pat.
Simple tips to be more punctual
- Track the time it actually takes you to do a task, and use this for future planning.
- Use a calendar so you can see in a visual way where your time is already committed, and create time buffers.
- Find motivation by asking your friends or others how it makes them feel when you’re late.
- Plan to arrive 15 minutes early for every appointment.
- Don’t fall for wishful thinking when it’s time to go – doing that one extra thing will likely push you over time.
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Written by Larissa Ham.
