WELLBEING

Delulu: The escapism trend becoming the ‘solulu’ to life’s challenges

15 January, 2024 . 0

Forget being a realist – looking at life through rose-tinted glasses has never been more in vogue. But is being ‘delulu’ a good thing or bad?

Viewing the glass half full used to be the general approach to optimism, but these days that’s not cutting it.

Instead, TikTok is inspiring people to romanticise various facets of their life to the point of being unrealistic – or “delulu” as the Gen Z kids are calling it.

Coined a decade ago by a K-pop fan, the term – short for delusional – has found its feet on TikTok recently, where it’s used to validate just about every unrealistic thought to enter human consciousness; from getting a job rejection because you’re clearly too talented for it or an ex-partner being secretly obsessed with you, despite well and truly moving on.

The meteoric rise of ‘delulu’

While there’s no rhyme or reason behind what goes viral on TikTok, the meteoric rise of the “delulu” movement could be a response to the bleak times we’re living in.

Some speculate the recent gloom brought on by the pandemic, international conflicts and economic downturn have provoked a desire for escapism and in turn “delulu” thinking.

This theory holds weight, with a 2022 Finnish study noting online escapism is now a prevalent coping mechanism from pressures such as financial worries or adverse events.

What’s the difference between textbook delusion and delulu?

For Sydney therapist and Meraki Mental Health Training founder Stella Ladikos, a distinct point of difference needs to be made between textbook delusion and what we see as “delulu”.

“It’s important to recognise the misconception of what the term delusional actually means, particularly since it gets thrown around in everyday language,” Stella says.

“Being delusional or experiencing delusions can be a clinical symptom of a range of disorders, including psychotic disorders and certain mood disorders, and for that reason it should be broached sensitively.”

According to Stella, casually referring to delusion could insinuate it’s a state of mind one chooses to be in or has control over, which is far from the case.

Can ‘delulu’ help us?

Misappropriations aside, however, she believes the underlying concept of “delulu” could prove beneficial.

“My understanding of the ‘delulu’ trend is that it inspires people to be fearless and reach for something that may seem unlikely or impossible, to just give things a go and think more positively, all of which can be really valuable,” she says.

“It’s a pretty awesome way to reframe our thinking and to trust in the process of giving new or intimidating things a shot and letting go of that fear of failure and rejection.”

Delulu advocate Isabel Timerman

‘Empress of Delululand’

New York model, writer and content creator Isabel Timerman is the unofficial poster girl of the “delulu” movement, or “President of the Delulu Republic” and “Empress of Delululand” as she describes on her socials.

She made her foray into the TikTok trend two years ago when she found herself freshly single and back in the dating pool.

“I didn’t give myself time to heal and found myself constantly romanticising the bare minimum.

“For instance, if a guy replied to my story with heart eyes, I’d convince myself he was in love with me,” Isabel says.

“My first viral post was about stalking a guy’s Spotify and convincing myself that the song lyrics applied to my situation – that he listens to, say, Arctic Monkeys and envisions me as the mysterious girl being sung about.”

The New Yorker quickly learnt she wasn’t alone in this thought process and has since amassed about 400,000 followers across TikTok and Instagram.

Aside from people routinely approaching her in public as “that crazy girl from TikTok”, the general response to Isabel’s content is overwhelmingly positive.

@isabelunhingedhe is obsessed with me♬ original sound – Kendric 🥰🌟

‘Delulu’ content as therapy

“My followers resonate with what I put out and I’ll often get messages that say watching my content is like a form of therapy, and those comments really touch my heart.

“They make being insane on the internet worth it,” she says.

Much of Isabel’s audience feels both validated and amused by her “delulu” posts.

But for the content creator, having an online presence has its limitations and occasionally she finds her digital alter ego, IsabelUnhinged, intersecting with her real life.

“Sometimes I feel stuck at this waystation between my reality versus my online persona. When you have people validating your unhinged, controversial and sometimes even problematic behaviours, it can mess with you, even if my TikToks are an exaggerated version of how I am in real life” she says.

While being synonymous with “delusionships” has been positive for Isabel, she doesn’t want to be forever known as the “delulu girl” and considers TikTok the stepping stone to wider opportunities.

“I’m a passionate writer and my focus right now is my upcoming novel, which will explore situationships and the pain that comes with losing someone who was never yours,” she says.

If or when Isabel hangs up her “delulu” hat, she hopes that positive thoughts and hopefulness remain an ongoing theme in the social media zeitgeist.

“There’s nothing worse than feeling crazy, especially as a woman.

“Freud considered hysteria an exclusively female disease and these stereotypes don’t just go away,” Isabel says.

“Instead, we can regain our power by embracing our internal monologue and make vulnerability something positive and even funny.

“That’s how you reinvent the wheel and take away the shame.”

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Written by Charlotte Brundrett.