WELLBEING

What’s your parenting style – and do these labels matter?

12 July, 2023 . 0

Do you identify as “crunchy”? Or do you see yourself as a “tiger” instead? Here, we look at trending parenting styles, and whether these labels matter.

I’ve been parenting for close to 15 years, but I’ve only recently discovered I’m a “crunchy” mum – a parenting style that’s all about balance, keeping an open mind, and leading with your gut.

I didn’t realise there was a label for doing what felt right but, as it turns out, parenting monikers are once again having a moment.

So, what kind of parent are you, and does parenting style even matter?

5 popular parenting styles explained

Crunchy

If you embrace what those in the ’90s and noughties would have called a natural parenting style – favouring organic food, buying wooden toys and breastfeeding your child until they’re old enough to comfortably use a knife and fork – you’re considered a “crunchy” parent.

Silky

“Silky” parents fall right at the other end of the spectrum, embracing all the modern wonders of the world to make life easier for everyone in the family.

This means disposable nappies, formula feeding and plenty of screen time, as well as packing lunch boxes full of snacks kids love to eat.

Lawnmower

As the label suggests, these parents will happily “mow down” any obstacle in their children’s way.

Similar to helicopter parents, they will do what it takes to spare their kids any inconvenience or discomfort.

Tiger

Drawing inspiration from both authoritarian and helicopter parenting styles, “tiger” mums and dads are strict and highly invested in ensuring their children’s success, whether it be academic achievement or within an extracurricular activity such as music or sport.

Gentle

“Gentle” parenting emphasises empathy, turning away from an authoritarian approach and leaning into a parent-child partnership based on respect.

Do we really need parenting style labels?

Parental labelling is unlikely to disappear anytime soon, so the question must be asked: are these labels helpful or harmful?

Parenting expert and Channel Nine’s Parental Guidance co-host Dr Justin Coulson says that while categorising yourself can be psychologically reassuring for a parent, it can also promote rigidity.

“When you say, ‘I’m this kind of parent’, you’re less likely to consider other options, even if they are more beneficial for your family; it makes us less flexible,” Dr Coulson, author of The Parenting Revolution, says.

Although there is an argument that the kind of parent you are doesn’t matter at all, and that how your kids turn out depends ultimately on genetics and whom they associate with outside the family home, Dr Coulson rejects the idea as “too extreme”.

“The way we parent – provided we’re not too critical – carries weight, but the impact isn’t as enormous as we think it is,” he says.

Key principles of parenting

Looking beyond the labels mentioned above, there are three key principles to consider when it comes to helping kids grow into healthy, happy adults, Triple P Positive Parenting Program Internationa l head of training Dr Alan Ralph says.

“The first is to create a safe and engaging environment in which to grow – this doesn’t only mean safety in the physical sense, but (also) providing a safe space in which your child can feel comfortable about any struggles they may be experiencing,” Dr Ralph says.

The second is about using that environment as a teaching tool, whether that be through effective role modelling, or showcasing how to properly handle difficult situations; while the third relates to discipline and consequences, he adds.

“This doesn’t mean corporal punishment of course, but (it’s) about having regular conversations with your children about what’s appropriate, what isn’t, family values, and what kind of disciplinary action would be required in certain situations,” Dr Ralph says.