How to be more confident – a top coach’s No. 1 tip

Struggling with low self-esteem? Confidence coach Kate Heussler shares her number one tip to build your belief in yourself so you can reach your full potential. 

Feel like a lack of confidence is limiting your success? 

You’re probably right, because low self-worth can lead to difficulties with relationships and in your career, and to low happiness levels, self-development coach and model Kate Heussler says.

“It can prevent you from pursuing your dreams, create anxiety and fear and, ultimately, hold you back from reaching your full potential,” Kate says.

Signs you might have low self-esteem 

Kate, who runs The Model Masterclass, coaches models on how to be more confident but says the same lessons apply to everyone.

If you suspect you might be running a little short on self-esteem, common signs to look out for include negative self-talk, focussing on your perceived shortcomings, or avoiding challenges or new experiences because you’re scared of failure, she says.

You may also have difficulty accepting compliments, constantly compare yourself to others, or hold yourself to impossibly high standards.

Kate’s own battles with confidence

While she now comes across as confident and polished, a difficult childhood meant that Kate suffered from extremely low self-esteem for her entire childhood. 

Aside from her rocky home life, she was also bullied at school. 

“When you hit puberty at 11 and you have welted acne all over your face and most of your peers don’t go through that until they’re 15 or 16, it opens you up to all levels of bullying from kids,” Kate says.

“And if you don’t know how to stand up for yourself or you don’t have witty comebacks … you just go into yourself. “

It wasn’t until she joined the Australian Air Force Cadets at 13, and met different adult role models, that her perception of herself began changing. 

Modelling, which Kate took up in her early 20s, was another opportunity to grow her confidence.

Kate’s number one tip to build confidence

It’s not rocket science, but Kate says practising self-care is a highly effective way to start feeling more self-assured.

This can include activities such as exercising, eating well, getting enough sleep and taking time for yourself, she says.

It’s funny how it’s all interconnected – even something like getting a good night’s sleep, that is directly related to your confidence.”

Bad skin? No problem

Drawing on her own experiences, Kate uses the example of having “bad” skin when she was younger.

If she had her time again, she says she would learn to stand up for herself and recognise that her skin problems didn’t make her a “bad” person.

“I actually genuinely thought there was something wrong with me,” Kate says.
These days she engages in self-care by educating herself on her skin with the help of experts. 

She has a treatment plan, buys a good cleanser and knows that nutrition – and hormones – play a big part.

Learn to focus on yourself

Kate says self-care helps you become the best version of yourself, rather than worrying too much about what other people are doing, adding that progress is far more important than perfection. 

“It’s focussing on your strengths, setting your own goals, and just genuinely getting to a stage where you can be completely unbothered by what other people do and say – that’s where you know you’ve reached a new level of you.”

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Written by Larissa Ham.